Mitch: Yes, you were, Teddy. You flagellated yourself well, like a proper homeschooled boy. So, I'll tell you a story.
Ted: Yay!
Mitch: Once there was a good boy named Teddy.
Ted: I like this story!
Mitch: Don't interrupt, Teddy! I have the floor and I haven't yielded!
Ted: It was a point of order.
Mitch: That discussion can be tabled for later. Teddy was a good, little boy most of the time, but sometimes he did bad things, like try to read Dr. Seuss out loud for 24 hours straight, for no reason at all, so even children in his own playgroup didn't like him. And do you know what happens to bad little boys, Teddy?
Ted: ...
Mitch: I yield the floor for a question.
Ted: What... happens?
Mitch: There is a rule, Teddy. The... {whispered} Byrd rule. Some rules, are more important than others. And none, Teddy, none, are more important than the {whispered} Byrd rule. And when bad little boys break the Byrd rule... Well, Teddy, there is... something. It hides in your closet. And sometimes under your bed. In the darkness. Just out of view. When you think you see something out of the corner of your eye, and turn your head, and it isn't there, it was really there. It was her. When think you hear a noise, but can't find the source, it was her.
[Ted cowers under his blanket. Mitch glowers and grins.]
Mitch, whispering: And, when your cat, Ayn, jumps at nothing and runs away for no apparent reason, Ayn knows there's something there. Ayn can see and hear...
[Ted shakes with terror. Mitch leans in for effect.]
Mitch: ELIZABETH MACDONOUGH!
Ted: NO!
Mitch: That's right, Ted. When bad, little boys violate the Byrd rule by inserting provisions into budget reconciliation bills that aren't strictly budgetary by involving policy issues, like homeschooling... ELIZABETH MACDONOUGH COMES TO GET THEM IN THE NIGHT!
[Ted wets his bed and shits himself. Fortunately, he sleeps on plastic because he's a little chickenshit who does this frequently. Mitch calls in the illegal immigrant nanny to clean things up, because of course.]
Really, the House probably doesn't mind voting again. MacDonough ruled a provision of the tax deal out of compliance with the Byrd rule after the House already voted, so the House has to vote on a version stripped of that provision. Fine. Republicans love voting for tax cuts. Maybe Elizabeth MacDonough gave them an early Christmas present. Regardless, I do so enjoy writing about her. As a quantitative, statistician/game theorist-type in my real work, interviews aren't really on my research agenda, but maybe someday I'll meet her. I wonder how I'd look her in the eye after writing the kinds of things I write. As I've said before, I don't have a clue what kind of person she is. These posts just amuse me, and it has simply become kind of a thing for this blog, like the "If you don't love __, you hate America" music posts. Anyway, none of this matters. It's just a technical glitch. I just couldn't help myself this morning. I'll get back to more substantive posts tomorrow.