I can't deal with the news overload, so I'm writing about the literal slime mold at Hampshire College

The President's economic advisor is walking out because Donny is a mercantilist moron starting a trade war over... something. The President is being sued by a porn star with the stage name of "Stormy Daniels," to whom he had paid hush money, because of some sort of hush money breach of contract. We don't know what's happening with North Korea. One of Trump's former campaign advisors is inviting arrest and claiming that Mueller has something on Trump. There's been wackiness in Texas, and I... have short-circuited. Oh, and Kellyanne Conway violated the Hatch Act, according to a formal investigation, but c'mon, nothing will happen because, really...

{Rebooting...}

Did you know that there is an actual, literal slime mold on the faculty at Hampshire College? No, Lawrence Krauss moved from CWRU to Arizona State, but I can see how you might get confused. (Just imagine the jokes I edited out for the sake of my own self-preservation!)

It is a filthy, creeping mold without a brain, and yet still does research! Over the last couple of days, it has been making the news rounds. More than I have! Apparently, if I want news attention, I should lobotomize myself, and turn into a brainless, creeping mold.

As for papers, why not have computer programs randomly generate bullshit papers? Is that better or worse than a slime mold? You know about this one, right? That's right. Back in 2005, a group of MIT students created a computer program to spit out text, and got a paper accepted to a conference, because, oh fuck it, academia is bullshit anyway.

The article I linked references Alan Sokal, who famously pranked the field of "cultural studies" by writing the most bullshit-laden "article" in history, just to see if their "journal" would accept it, and... they did! Bunch of fuckwits... Want to read the article? Here's a link.

So, a slime mold on campus? How much worse can it get? I, for one, welcome our new slime mold overlords.