Have you read the newspapers recently? It turns out that we may have missed a trick and that Jeremy Corbyn isn't quite the guy his supporters have been trying to fool us into believing he is.
I've tried to remain loyal to Jeremy Corbyn, but it's totally impossible given the way he's been stooging for Putin's Russia. I mean how could anyone trust a man who has been pushing for Magnitisky economic sanctions against Russian oligarchs and Putin cronies since way before the Skripal poisoning. If Corbyn had any integrity at all then surely he'd take £800,000+ in donations from these oligarchs and Putin cronies and then obstruct Magnitsky powers at every turn like Theresa May has been doing?
It also turns out that back in the 1980s Jeremy Corbyn was a spy for the communists in Czechoslovakia! Some people have tried to cast doubt on the source of the claims and point out that there is no documentary proof of the claims whatever in the Czech archives, but who could possibly doubt the testimony of a man who personally founded Live Aid as a communist plot to overthrow the West?
Then there's the fact that Corbyn met members of Sinn Féin during the 1980s. Yes his supporters will point out that the Thatcher government was having secret negotiations with the actual IRA terrorists at the time, whilst telling the public "we don't negotiate with terrorists", but who on earth would want a politician who is open and honest about his actions when we could have politicians who do in secret exactly what they repeatedly promise the public that they are not doing?
And what's all this crap about Jeremy Corbyn wanting to return British infrastructure and services to British ownership? Surely everyone knows that our railways, power stations, national grid, water supplies, mail system, NHS, police services, and criminal justice system are obviously best off owned by a bunch of profit-seeking corporations and foreign governments.
What kind of ideologically driven fool would actually believe that British infrastructure and services are best run by Britain for the benefit of the British people?
Isn't it obvious that Jeremy Corbyn is a Stalinist? I mean his manifesto was actually the kind of centre-left democratic socialism that's commonplace across Europe and the developed world, but why look at his actual policies when you could rely on interpretation of his stance by trustworthy sources like the Sun, the Daily Telegraph, the Express, the Daily Mail, and the oh-so-impartial BBC Politics team?
And he's a neo-Nazi too as proven by the Tory minister Sajid Javid who bravely called out Momentum as a neo-fascist organisation from behind parliamentary privilege rules that say politicians can't be sued for defamation for the stuff they say in the houses of parliament. Of course the pro-Corbyn campaign group Momentum are Nazis, because there's nothing anti-Semitic at all about describing an organisation led by a Jewish man as being adherents of the ideology that resulted in the mass genocide of Jewish people is there?
And why is Corbyn such a weakling? When the Tories and their supporters in the mainstream media hurl abuse at him, he never slings abuse and insults back at them.
Surely a strong politician would leap down into the political sewer, sling shit around, and actively fuel the hate, rather than banging on boringly about the need for respectful discourse and honest political debate.
Another example of his weakness is his refusal to say that he'd use nuclear bombs as attack weapons. I mean what kind of idiot thinks that Britain shouldn't be the nation that's responsible for triggering nuclear Armageddon by using nuclear weapons to attack other nations. I mean surely everyone knows the whole problem with the Cold War is that the United States and the Soviet Union didn't attack each other with nuclear missiles. Had they adopted Theresa May's sensible "first strike" approach to the confrontation I'm sure we all agree the whole thing would have been over so much more quickly.
And aside from being a weakling, there's the fact that he's a terrifyingly powerful bully too.
Remember the way he bullied the Labour right-wingers who plotted against him in 2016 by beating them in a democratic leadership election?
And remember the time he bullied Owen Smith by competently sticking to the principle of collective responsibility. What he should do is just allow all of his ministers to just make up any shit they like on the hoof like Theresa May does. Surely everyone knows that in modern Britain any kind of competent leadership skills are forbidden, and that unless you allow your ministers to do whatever they like and never correct or discipline them for talking rubbish or defying the party line, you're obviously a Stalinist monster.
And then there's Corbyn's lack of moral flexibility. How dare he criticise Saudi Arabia for being a brutal Islamist tyranny where they crucify and behead people for "crimes" like being gay, rejecting Islam, attending pro-democracy protests, and atheism.
Surely Corbyn knows that it takes a lot of effort to simultaneously believe that ISIS are a bunch of disgusting terrorists who make Al Qaida look moderate in comparison, whilst continually sucking up to and selling weapons to the Saudi tyrants who arm them, fund them, propagandise for them on social media, and supply them with more fighters than any other nation.
And what about his ridiculous stance of actually opposing Tory austerity? Surely it makes more sense for Labour to meekly imitate right-wing Tory economics, rather than proposing their own ridiculous idea of actually investing in Britain and its people in order to grow the economy.
Surely everyone knows the natural home of the Labour Party is to hover ever so slightly to the left of the Tory party, no matter how far the Tories keep tracking off towards the extreme-right.
One of the most disgusting things about Jeremy Corbyn is his insistence on attending big rallies and meeting members of the public as if he genuinely likes it. Surely we all know that it's so much better when our political leaders shuttle between one "safe space" and another, hide from any form of scrutiny and debate, and prefer to wander around empty factories or give press conferences in front of a shed full of cows.
What kind of person would want their political leaders to be willing to talk to and empathise with ordinary members of the public?
Doesn't Corbyn even care that the "lower orders" are common people with vulgar language and impertinent questions who could be riddled with diseases too?
Who cares that Corbyn achieved the biggest increase in the Labour vote since 1945 by doing two things that were considered politically impossible (bringing out the youth vote and appealing to non-voters) in order to counteract the newly combined force of the Tory vote and the Ukip vote?
Who cares that Corbyn's policies have attracted hundreds of thousands of new energised Labour members and millions of young voters?
One of the worst things about Corbyn's supporters (Corbynites as I like to call them) is the way they actually defend the man when the mainstream media call him out for being a Czech spy, a Russian stooge, a communist, a fascist, an inadequate bower, a disrespectful dancer, a weakling, and a bully.
How dare they question the judgement of their superiors and actually defend the man that we're all supposed to spit bile at on command like a pack of salivating Pavlov's dogs?
Why won't they just do as they're told and never question their superiors eh? This impertinent refusal to bow to authority and mindlessly accept what they're told is disgusting cult-like behaviour.
Anyone who turns to reliable sources like the S*n, Daily Mail and the BBC Politics team couldn't possibly conclude anything other than the fact that Jeremy Corbyn is an absolute monster, and that voting Tory is the only way to stop this incredibly weak and cowardly powerful fascist-communist bully from inflicting the absolute nightmare of workers earning enough to provide for their families, publicly owned railways and postal services, and a nation where health care and education are treated as rights, rather than profitable commodities to be traded by the rich.
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