Door number 2 it is!
In my last post on the subject, I reminded you, dear readers, that Rand Paul is nothing more than a charter member of the Senate's Drama Club, and his decision to pretend that he had yet to reach a decision on Kavanaugh's nomination was nothing more than Drama Club dramatics.
Yesterday, Master Thespian of the Senate, Rand Paul, announced that he had reached his decision. Yes, he would vote yes. Genius!
I am not entirely certain what theories of drama Senator Paul has studied in detail, but perhaps some education would be in order. I am, after all, an educator!
Let us consider two prominent models of drrrrrrrrama. (Is that how one types a tongue-roll?) We must begin, of course, with Aristotle's Poetics. Structure, for Aristotle, required two primary elements. The complication, and the unrrrrrrravelling. Er, sorry. "Unravelling." I'm being serious, now. Watch me take this post seriously. Anyway, the dramatic story consists of a sequence of logical steps in which each event follows naturally from the previous event. The complication prevents the protagonist from achieving his (I'd make a correction here, but classical canon, so let's go with what Aristotle would have written) goal, after which the plot unravels. There. Aristotle in a nutshell. ("In a nutshell!" Hey, someone should use that in a play! It sounds deep, but doesn't mean anything. Drrrrrama!) I have simplified greatly, but my coffee supply is limited. I could get into simple versus complex plots, and... never mind. Let's stick with the complication/unravelling structure for this morning's post.
Where is Rand's theory of dramatics? Is he the protagonist? If so, where was the complication? You don't get to just dither about and pretend you don't know what you are going to do for the whole, damned play! What kind of a shitty-ass play would that be? I mean, you could throw in a line about nutshells, and even that would still bore the shit out of me. Scrap that. That's not the play.
If Rand isn't the protagonist, though, then he must be the complication in someone else's play. Complications don't resolve themselves, though! Think, Rand, think! What kind of unravelling is this?! This is not how drama works. Read your Aristotle.
Or perhaps you prefer Gustav Freytag. He was the gentleman who introduced the five-stage model of dramatics. Exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, and denouement. Where was the rising action? All I got was some long-winded exposition, falling action... was there a climax in there? Rand, buddy, all I have to say is...